Every child deserves a parent, but not every parent deserves a child.
I know from experience that parents can damage a child for the rest of their lives. The lack of attention and love from their parents leads to many cases of fear of abandonment and neediness. This song shows how the son turns into his dad. This is also a scary scenario because it’s almost like a never ending cycle of bad parents. A child deserves more than to be treated like trash, every child deserves a chance. Unfortunately, not all children get an equal chance to thrive and be successful. This song Cats in the Cradle is one example of many children who deserve much more than they receive from their parents.
Sometimes, this damage from a parent brings siblings closer together. They share each other’s burdens and scars to make the journey easier. A good example of how a parent destroyed his children’s lives is in the TV show the Originals. This show is about a family born in the 10th century, viking era when their youngest brother was killed by a werewolf. Their mother was a powerful witch so in order to save her family she made them all vampires. They were the first vampires to walk the earth and their story is about how their family problems from a thousand years ago still haunt them. Although the mother loved her four children (Elijah, Niklaus, Rebekah, Kol) she allowed their father to abuse them. Their father, Mikael, found out Niklaus wasn’t his son and that his wife cheated on him. But he did not hate his wife for it, instead he tortured his son. Children who are survivors of abuse never leave without scars physically and mentally.
“Our father broke us. You with, your anger and paranoia. Me with my fear of abandonment. And poor Elijah. He dedicates himself to everyone but himself. We are the strongest creatures in the world and yet we are damaged beyond repair. We live without hope, but we will never die. We are the definition of “cursed,” always and forever.” -Rebekah Mikaelson to her brother Niklaus
A child, like Elijah, who dedicates themselves to everyone but themselves search for one thing: to be accepted. They want people to see their noble deeds and to love them for it. But no matter what kind of appreciation they get, it will never be enough because they didn’t get the love they needed from the people they wanted it to come from the most — their mother and father. And so people like Elijah search for this love subconsciously and consciously forever. They always try to find a way to replace the love they never got as a child. Some find what they are looking for, and others never do.
A child, like Niklaus, deals with his loss with anger and rage. His memories of abuse haunt him and keep him constantly paranoid that someone is out to get him and abuse him more. This paranoia and rage come from a father who would never love him. And the fact that Niklaus can’t change that because he can’t change who his biological father was. A father who calls you an abomination, and a sad waste of a life will stick with a person forever. These children will grow up always scared and have trust issues with people because they don’t know if they will be hurt again or not. So to avoid this they often find violence and aggression as an answer. If they hide their fear and pain no one will hurt them again.
And for people like Rebekah, who grow up with the fear of abandonment often are needy and search for someone to replace the person they need. I know this because I see myself in Rebekah. I never had a mother who loved me, and I constantly look for a women to replace her. I try so hard to find a best friend that is a girl because I always feel the need for that attention. And like Rebekah, I am to quick to trust. People who fear abandonment tend to let people in their lives and have a hard time letting go of them because they want that unconditional love so much.
When a child that was abused or mistreated as a child, grows up and has a child of their own; they face a very important decision. Whether they be the parents they never had or be their parents. And this decision is so important because it’s a choice of giving a life or taking a life.